Nothing to Say

I guess the argument is over. One could say I won, since apparently you have nothing more to say. But I never thought of it as a competition. Although I must admit that the things I said were meant for you to shut up.
See, I don't want to hear what you have to say. I don't want to hear you saying I'm mistaken. I know I am, I already feel guilty about it, but at the same time, I feel better. A part of me feels better for doing what I did, and I feel free.
That doesn't mean that the person in question was the reason of all of this. Au contraire. She will not be left alone; not by me. I won't be physically there, but I will be when she needs me to. She just has to ask, and I guess she knows that. And I don't expect her to understand my actions. I don't expect her to have yet ANOTHER unnecesary bag on her shoulders. I don't want her to feel pain. And I know she does, and it's the reason why I feel guilty.
But I don't understand why YOU meddle with these sort of things. This is not your fight. I understand you want to be the protector this time, but you will not get through me. You never were the protector before. You were the desertor. You had the right to be, and I kept my mouth shut. Why can't you do the same thing right now? Can't you see you have absolutely no right to come in between all that is going on, and ask me for something that you never even made an effort to achieve yourself?
I feel like I'm always beside someone, grabbing everyone's hand, but there's no one holding mine. Nobody cares what I feel at the moment, you just want to make me feel bad for what I'm doing. And I really can't believe she would ask for something like that, so this is evidently your own doing.
Why don't you take a look at what you've done in the past, and judge all the things you've done to her while I sticked to her side, and after that look at this ONE thing I'm doing wrong?
And yes, I know what I just said implies judgement. In every sense of the word and the phrase. But think about it anyway. After you have, I will listen to your preaches with ears wide open.